priorities,priorities,priorities. haha.. can i do it?

6mths with my dear yesterday!! yay~!! happy=D many many more anniversaries to come.. muackz*! i love u dear..4ever..

cant watch ella enchanted with hong and shell le. haiz..so irritating..why must it be so? hmm never mind..sure got other chances.. =)

nothing to blog about.so ya, take care ya'll

simplicity's hard. but it seems that discipline's even harder. how on earth do people like genevieve actually find time to revise tys when every night i go home i just want to sleep? admirable effort seh! *applause* but i must also strive for that kind of discipline. hee=p

have you ever been mad at someone for not messaging you for two days? haha i have, but it only shows that i care about my dear alot. hee.. i will support your decision, since it is something that you want to do. i love you. muacks*! =D

haven't seen evan,hong,leen weeinn for a very long time. hope to see them pretty quick, before i miss them more, and before we have to strive doubly hard.. let's work hard together gals! =D and my bday's coming! hahahhahaa =p take care ya'll!

*c-a-c-k-l-e*c-a-c-k-l-e*!! OH NO!!! AH!! oh my god! how?!  !£^%&*£$^CRASH!£^%&*£$^! what was that???!!! nope, it wasn't my com ( or in this case, my bro's com) that crashed.. it was me! wa.. today i'm super tired.. t-i-r-ed! really dragged myself home, up the hill, across the roads, down the hill, 15 minutes in all [when usually it takes me a lot less than that] even ah peks walk faster than me lor.. i hate tuesdays, but i've resolved to go for all lessons from this week forth. so i shall be good. and i hope it'll help. hahaha =p
 
did a super long chemistry practical today, and my fingers are a little bit yellow, stupid potassium chromate. haha but at least better than potassium manganate on my uniform.
 
woohoo! 2/3 of my class is not going for tomorrow's lessons, the remaining 7 people are going. i expect miss yap will faint? =p haha 7 of 21 people.. shortest line in all of year 2..? i think highly possible.. hee =D no wonder everyone's conduct is graded as 'fair'
 
naughty evan.. got parents meeting this saturday, plus tuition, so i guess i have to make another appointment with her. hahah busy girl.=p next time message me la, don't call. okie? must remember you are using private number, and there's about 99% chance i won't know it's you if is missed call. hee =p
 
haha gen asked one question yesterday, and another one today. yesterday's question was :what is it to like a person?  hee.. would anybody like to volunteer some answers?
 
qiuling said "liking someone is to have a special place in your heart for him. and you would want to see him even though you have just seen him just a moment ago"
i agree.. haha plus all the little indicators that just show he's more than just a friend to you, when u keep all his smses, when you dont mind staying up late into the night to wait for his call or goodnight message, when you just want to peep at him, see his smile... you know you like him, even if you keep telling yourself otherwise. haha take it from me, there's no denying your feelings. =p
another friend offered his opinion:your heart will start pumping rapidly when you see her,you cant stop thinking of her everyday, you really want to tell her you like her, but you're scared to get rejected... hmm nice to see things from both viewpoints =D
 
today gen's question is: why do you close your eyes when kissing?haha..don't ask me why. it's just a natural thing. it's rude to stare. hahah any other suggested answers?
 
tomorrow's plan is to go out with qiuling..i just confirmed with her like 5 minutes ago.. but now hmm.. have to see le. but i think she needs cheering up. we all do la.. haha everybody in school today is so sianz.zzzz. except the boys la. which is unusual of them. usually they are the sianz ones, whereas the girls are more chatty. hmm.. pms is in the air. hahha
 
my brother is a pig. really a pig. he has to leave the house for tuition by 715pm, and when i reached home at 645pm, he still hasnt even bought his dinner. and all along he's been watching the tv. oh my god. how piggy can he get? hahah must be inherited.. tsk tsk..
 
tomorrow i plan to buy a backpack, or my back'll break soon. soon. pengz. haha my bones really cracking le. and i need a new pair of shoes, or else running along the tack, you'll suddenly spot a shoe flying off.. haha that'll be mine. =p
 
i type this blog for an hour. i cant believe it. hahah.. long enough blog for today. shall go off le. to rest my lousy ageing body. cheer up everyone! life's good! hahaha =D

cried for the first time in my life over something which never seemed to bother me so much in the past--studies. haiz. cried le then feel stupid. seems like i dun care, but actually i do..an awful lot.
 
suddenly feel that time is running out. just not enough time to wake up and move on.what to do? can only try mybest right? haha of course this are not the things that exactly went through my head when i cried. at that time just felt so helpless. whyy was i so lazy? yucks.  
 
but i've gotten a hold on myself, i need to overcome the fear of A-levels. fear is not going to help me achieve the results i want,it'll only impede my progress. i shall buck up! =D  
 
i miss dear so much.. haiz, mum asked me to reduce the amount of time with him, but i dont want and i dont think it's fair. so i shall try my best to juggle my time. cannot let him down ar! =D i need your hugs to give me strength to go on.. huggiez!**~ miss u miss u so so much!  
 
sea carnival coming up. hmmm should i go? but kallang's so far.. though i know i make the trip often.. =p but still...it's far! hahaha and what if i cant run away after taking attendance? hahah  
 
saturday i'm studying with evan, since last saturday's program of studying and swimming was cancelled. miss my ahs friends alot..like to hear about their life, and see how they're getting on..  
 
pek cek with space bar. do maths le!  
 
dont miss me!!=p [hate the space bar of the school computer, bit siao..]  
 

didnt do much studying this week, been busy with the presents for my dear's birthday, but now i think i must really study hard. make up for lost time. haha if not evan will scold me. =p
 
parents currently now at meet-the-parents session la. think what they hear will make them faint. i'm not as good a girl as they thought. i do not attend all lessons, though now i shall try hard to. still, i hate the school management for giving me such a horrible timetable. yucks. first time in my 12 years of sch education did they have to attend a mtp session. obvious enough signal that my results is at its worst? hahah
 
i dont really have anything to blog lehz, just thought i should make a regular appearance? hahaha
 
next week wednesday got sea carnival plus racial harmony day. i am confirmed not going to school. ! hahha
 
all of you should study hard, yes, including you my dear.. =p
 
someone countdown no. of days to prelim? so i know when's my birthday coming.. hahhaha
 

actually.. the last time i blogged was saturday. that wasnt very long ago, was it? hahha but it sure does seem long.. =p

sunday nite, i was sorta cornered by my parents la.. they went out to buy breakfast for the next day, and when they came home, my mom said "girl, go to your room, we have something to talk to you" the start of the converstation is already like that, can tell what's coming up right? yalar, as predicted, her next sentence was "what happened for the exams?" then blablabla..the usual stuff about having to study hard and all those things.. and then my dad asked "is the lousy results the only reason for your recent mood?" i immediately on high alert. indeed, i knew what was coming up next. my kpo neighbour, whoever he is, told my parents about seeing a guy with me. so yeah, now they know about my boyfriend. though nothing about the name or how he looks like.. =p my mom even funnier, asked me whether is it one-sided or mutual? lol..=p

tomorrow's dear's birthday!! yay! but he ends at 4pm.. so i'll meet him quite late i guess.. but i miss him so much.. hee, his sms last night brought back sweet sweet memories for me too! =D **muackz darling!**

realised my blog does not contain archives link, nor any other links for that matter. haha.. which means all of you should be more diligent to read my blog, but then again, i don't blog daily. =p and links can be dangerous(that the word?), as seen from dayana's blog. haha

woke up super duper early today. i know it's 9am.. but hello! it's a saturday! and i usually sleep till 10am? haha reason being yesterday i too piggy. slept in the afternoon from 130pm to around 4 or 5. guess yesterday being the last day of the week, everybody was super tired la. my brother conked, dayana conked, i conked, even dear also conked. haha

not going to throw in the towel and surrender yet. i believe i can do it. but i got a feeling i may be grounded soon. haha.pa nagging me to turn off my handphone in school, or just leave it at home. argh, so irritating. must reduce interaction time but still must let them know i spend alot of time studying at home. haha tough job.

let's work hard together! yay! =D 12 years of education is not going to go down the drain,not when we're gonna give it our best efforts!

i'm not being cheerful and optimistic, but hey, the other option is to wallow in depression. isnt looking on the brighter side of life better? hee =)

even if my previous blog makes everything look so bleak, please have faith in yourself that you can do it. i believe in myself, so should you. and i'm here with you every step of the way. let us work hard to strive towards that common goal okie? cheers! =)

--In reality, serendipity accounts for one percent of the blessings we receive in life, work and love. The other 99 percent is due to our efforts.
Peter McWilliams

--Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas A. Edison

--Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
Samuel Johnson

and finally....
--When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all.
Theodore Roosevelt

my blog today would be just ranting..aka rubbish. so you can choose to just skip it. wait for the next entry if you want,but i got to blog. =p too talkative? maybe.. hahah

official first day of lessons yesterday, and i got back all my three papers for the common test. what can i say? i disappointed myself, disappointed my parents. shocked myself, shocked them too. never before do i remember getting so lousy results.loss for words. wonder if i've just been too lazy? or have i been studying using the wrong method? or am i just not studying? first time in my life i feel that the prospects are so bleak. BLEAK. cant imagine life 4 months ahead. A-levels is not like O-levels, can "last-month" mugging help? i pray that it will. or i'm a goner. GONER.

last night after the talk with my mom, i felt that i should be able to do better. i do not have to worry about anything besides my studies, it's true. my family is financially stable,so there's no worry about money. my family is also peaceful, as in there are no quarrels to disturb me. so why am i shortchanging myself? only one answer i guess, i'm not hardworking enough.LAZY.

told qiuling today that to be stupid is sad, but to be lazy, is even sadder. know what i mean? well, smart or stupid is not something i can choose, but then, hardworking or lazy is something that only i can decide. and should i fail, then the only person to be blamed is me. ME. the responsibility of studying lies solely on ME. and i should not let any other things distract me. there shall be NO EXCUSES for my laziness. NO EXCUSES.

never ever felt more down now than any other point of time. beginning to seriously consider what is the possibility of me scoring well for A-levels. mugging is seriously unlike me, really. but i guess i've to start moving my ass, and hopefully, my brain will start working too. can i make up for lost time in lazyland?

i know i'm supposed to study for no one else but myself, yet i hate disappointing my parents. they do their best to provide me with what i need, surely the least i can do is to study hard? why cant i just forgo some pleasures for the next few months? but sometimes a part of me also wonders, then when can i really get to enjoy myself? knowing full well, of course i will. i just have to work pass this huge obstacle in front of me, and then the world won't seem so dark anymore.

where do i start? how do i get where i want to go? directions? hints? clues? nothing. all i know is I HAVE TO STUDY HARD! for what? university. for who? myself. really? i don't know.

at this point, life seems hopelessly gone case. but after tonight i shall hopefully find in me a renewed strength to go on, to face up to the daunting challenges of improving my grades. I CAN DO IT! other people have, why not i?

even in my darkest moments, i know you'll be here for me. i miss you.. i need your hugs to give me courage and strength.. i want to hold you and hide in your embrace, please tell me everything will be ok. i need you so bad...

i am losing faith in myself. tomorrow will be a better day.

I'll be your dream,
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope,
I'll be your love be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
til the sky falls down on me...
And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty.
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest powers. In lonely hours. The tears devour you..
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...
Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'cause it's standing right here before you.
All that you need will surely come...
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do...
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...


.:our song:.

i'm mad. so mad. roar! how can this be! so unbelievable. i'm shocked. how can portugal lose? how can my blog be eaten up? damn. so angry. haha but still greece played a great game, and their defence was super strong. near the goalpost area always white in colour one. pro.and i was stupid not to save my blog. blea. hahaha

i was reflecting on the difference between jc life and secondary school life. prefers, still do, life back in ahs. back then there was a cca i loved dearly, friends who were close and who i always had fun with. now, there's much more stress, much less enjoyment, much less friends. but hey! i cant always dwell on the past! life now is pretty good too, if i really think about it. i get more freedom, and ah... ah.. ah.. hahaha it's still good la.. at least now that my friends are always separated, we get to treasure each other more, and relish our once-in-a-blue-moon gatherings more. =D

people who don't know me may regard me as a cold person,unfriendly maybe, attitude problem perhaps. am i really like that? i'm just a bit fierce, with a horrible temper, and a tendency to be quieter, even around close friends. i'm more of a listener i guess, you wont find me talking alot. haha seldom la.

talking to a friend online just now, he was telling me that any relationship is not easy to maintain. well, it's true. that's y we should all learn to put in effort for our relationships and treasure the one we love...

my blog is considerably shorter than the original one which i intended to publish, but this should do. hahha =p

i like the new layout of my blog.. hee nice =D nw at sc's hse, n it's gonna rain soon.. thinking of wad to do abt my gp hw, sure cant fin one lor.. haha nvm la hor.. try my best shld be gd enuf. budden the english used in the compre is abit too chim for mi.. muz brush up--possible? =p

the original plan was tt tmr the gers, aka hong leen mi yinjie weeinn, will be gg out. either for kbox or movie "windstruck". but turns out the plans were cancelled.so i shall be home tmr, be a gd ger do gp. hahah

lately i nv blog deep tots. haha juz casual accounts of the daes i had.. hmm..

finally common tests fin le, 6 daes of hols!! tues then start worrying abt the results la huh.. haha budden i still have gp holiday homework to worry about la, sianz.. who ask me so lazy, didnt wan to do it earlier? haha can only blame myself..

but i had fun this past week =D wed dear came to my hse for the whole afternoon, n we watched spiderman together..cos i haven watched it yet.. yes, i mean spiderman 1.. hahha dun be shocked lehz. =p thurs we went to watch spiderman2 b4 eating dinner with shaun n qiuling at long john, the reason being we (shaun, ql n i) planned to go night safari.. haha we very free hor? travel all the way to the north west of singapore.. supposed to take 168 to woodlands then change to bus 926.but only when we reached then we realise that it is only in service on weekends. so no choice, travelled to choa chu kang by mrt, to take bus 927. i think.. hahha i cant rmb le..

night safari was not too bad, but the entrance fee very expensive ar. adult pay $18 lehz.. somemore not inclusive of the tram ride, for which you have to pay additional $6. but the girl at the ticket counter is so cute lor, she gave us child's price, only $9 =D and we decided to walk rather than take tram, though there will be parts of the safari inacccessible to us. (wan save money ma, hahah)

didnt spend alot of time at the safari, reached around 930pm, left about 11pm? took 138 to ang moh kio interchange to take 22 back to tampines.. we reached tampines about 1240am. n went to eat supper..haha after tt lousy shaun say he cannot make it, so walked home to sleep. ql n i got no place to go so we walked around central for a while before deciding to go sunplaza park to sit on the swings n talk.. hmm talked quite alot ar, mostly abt r/s la..

after that we decided to go gunni's hse to watch the match of czech vs greece.. and it was the first match of the euro cup that ql n i watch..haha.. i think we scared gunni, cos he called reinforcement over. maybe he shy la huh, cos he older than us by three years, so nothing much to talk about, so he called daosong over..haha that two crazy seniors had durian for supper =p

at arnd 525am we left gunni's hse to meet shaun at tampines interchange to take 31 to watch sunrise at east coast park.. but when we reached the bus stop, it started raining quite heavily. yet the sky still cleared up.. didnt get to see the sun rise from the horizon, but still it was my first sunrise. hopefully next time round i'll get to see a more beautiful one that isnt obscured by clouds.. morning air is so fresh, should wake up ealier next time. haha

pretty long blog rite? haha sorry ar.. cos i had a nice past week.. hope all of you enjoyed ur past few days too.. =D